Start Again
by Kabuki-An
Summary: AU takes place 150 years after Millenium War. Seras rules Hellsing and she's tired of loneliness. Everything changes whe she meets 3 children, who reminds her someone she used to know. I'LL CARRY ON THIS STORY ONLY IF I KNOW SOMEONE LIKES IT! pls comment.
1. Silver Lining

Seras Victoria slipped some blood from a glass and tasted it. Group A, RH-. She flicked her tongue a few times, enjoying the sweetness of the liquid, which had only that group of blood, flavoured by the bitterness of a minus type.

_Life is like blood. Basically sweet, but there is alwa__ys a bitterness composed into the __whole taste._ Seras thought. _And that's what gives life __sense. Or not._

She swallowed some more blood and stood up from a red armchair. She left the glass on the nearest table, but with a second thought the vampire poured some more blood from a bottle and walked towards covered window with it . Her tiny fingers made a gap in the heavy curtains and Seras carefully glanced at the outside. Good, the sky was all dressed in clouds, not the dark rainy ones, but with a grey, uniform like mass.

Seras slid the curtains aside. Subdued light came into the room at the Hellsing manor and illuminated the cold vampire's skin. She tasted the blood once again, coming back to her previous thoughts. She lived through very bad moments in her life, but also there were some good parts. For example, the Captain's kiss...

_Captain._

A pain shot through her no-life heart, she skipped a breath, even though she didn't need to breathe. After almost 150 years since his death, the memory of Captain Bernadotte was still alive in Seras, much more alive then the rest of her. Everyone passed on. Everyone was gone. Her Master died along with Sir Integra, but it was acceptable for Seras. She understood, and somewhere deep in her heart she knew, that was the way they had been. Walter, even though he was her friend, died in the fight with Master Alucard.

_Captain..._

His kiss, his grin, his braid, his blood, his perverted self – time had passed, but it was still fresh in Seras' mind. Like he had marked her in some way, so that she belonged to him forever.

But eternity meant a lot of time to vampires. Hardly something could ever cross it...

-OH SHIT!

Suddenly, Seras heard a sound of breaking glass, somewhere on the first floor. She opened the window and took a deep breath. She smelled caoutchouc_,_ soap and starch. Then she penetrated the whole territory of Hellsing, using all her senses, including the vampiric 'third eye'. The first thing, that caught Seras' attention was a commotion near an orphanage she founded within the grounds of the manor. Some shouts could be heard and she looked down to see what had happenned in the house.

Well, a broken window could be easily repaired. But it would be better to go to the orphanage and find the culprit.

She slowly put a jacket on and went out. Her high heels clicked on the wooden floor. The servants were called by that sound (Seras used to hate high heels as a human, but after inheriting the Hellsing organization she started to love them and now it was her sign of recognition) and a few maids appeared. They started to explain, that the children from the orphanage had broken a window in the dining room, and for sure they should be punished. The maids were about to send all the children to hell but Seras cut all curses by rising her hand. The servants got quiet and waited for an order.

-Enough. Go back to your work. I'll take a walk to the orphanage.


	2. Illuminated

Everybody, thank you for reading this story!

This story is completely wild - I have only a blur idea of what's going to happen. Let me explain something:

The title of this story is "Start Again', you should understand why pretty quickly. But title of each chapter is going to be named after one of the songs by band Hurts ("Wonderful Life", tells something?). I'll explain the meaning of a title in the end of a chapter.

Last time it was:

_Silver Lining - sudden gap in a cloudy sky of Seras' life. What would it bring?_

Hellsing belongs to Kouta Hirano 3

Beta by Ryoshiro

Comments are my fuel! 3

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><p>„Miss Seras, we're eternally sorry for what happened. One of our nuns is searching for the culprit right now. I assure you, he, or she, will be punished and pay for breaking the window."<p>

„Mother Superior" Seras put her cup of a tea on a saucer and stirred the liquid with a tea spoon. Good old Earl Grey never changed. „Please, don't be so anxious about this. I'm not mad or anything. I just want to see that naughty child. Nothing more."

Seras smiled and that calmed the nun down a bit. She was talking to the Mother Superior of this orphanage. They were both sitting in a cozy cabinet, designed in the most pedagogic ways. Walls were covered by bookshelfs with works of the most famous teachers from last fifty years. That and there were standing statues of Sophocles and Descartes – what these two people had in common Seras would never know. But it built a good atmosphere, the atmosphere of the authority that anyone held who was sitting between the Greeks. And, as the Mother Superior was claiming, it worked good on the children.

_I wouldn't be so sure..._ Seras thought. _As I spend almost whole my childhood in an orphanage and I was visiting the superior's room pretty often, I can say it has no good __influance on a young mind of a child._

„I told you, it was an accident..." Seras' enhanced ear caught a high voice coming from a corridor. It was child's voice for sure.

„Shut up! Miss Seras came herself. She must be very mad so you better behave yourself!", the other voice, feminine and husky scolded the child harshly. It must be one of the nuns. „She might even banish you from the orphanage. Where'd you go then, huh? So pray to the Holy Mother to stay alive!"

„What, so that big-bad-Seras-girl will bite me? Or what?"

There was the sound of slapping.

„Pray to the Holy Mother for forgivness!"

Seras heard the scratching of an opening door and a certain scent quickly spread through the warm air of the cabinet. She was sitting with her back to the entry, so she couldn't see who was coming in without turning around. But Seras found it pointless, as long as she had her smelling she didn't have to look at the person to recognize someone. The current Hellsing director could at least act like a lady and not look at the arrivers.

Even after 150 years of leading the Hellsing Seras still couldn't get used to always being so imperious and calm. She just wasn't Sir Integra. Suits didn't match her at all – when she wasn't in a uniform, she used to wear rather loose clothes. They would hide her curves, so she could walk down the street peacefully. But that was when she had been a human. After inheriting the Hellsing organisation, Seras couldn't wear Hellsing´s uniform any more. She spend a few nights on buying clothes and inventing her own style. Now she was wearing a jacket, leggins, high heels, a short skirt and gloves. Everything was in a deep blue color, coming through green and fading into black. Someone had told her once that it resembled her old uniform. Seras hadn't thought about it at all! As the vampire heard it, she released it was true. The captain might like her outfit, as Seras knew he liked her uniform a lot...

_What's with me today?_ Seras scolded herself. _I'm thinking too much._

„Miss Seras, this is the culprit. Bow, you fool!" The child fell on the floor, under the heavy hand of the nun. Seras' cheek twitched a little while hearing that.

The vampire took a sip from her cup. _Stay calm._

„What's your name, little boy?"

_Stay imperious._

„C-Colin.", the boy answered in a slightly insulted and hurt tone.

„He has been just transfered here.", the Mother Superior added.

„From where?" Another sip.

_Stay a lady._

„Well, his story is a bit tragic...", the nun started, but Colin suddenly shouted:

„DON'T SAY A WORD!"

Seras raised her eyebrow hearing the child's accent. What was it? What did it remind her of? Why did she think about an Eskimo song?

The Mother Superior misinterpreted Seras' face.

„Shut up! Showing your bad manners, you´ve made miss Seras angry! Apologize right now!"

„No way.", Colin grunted. „Go shagging, you bitch."

Only one person in a whole world would say „bitch" like that. Only one person would say it with a French accent. Everything that reminded her about the Captain hurt her, so she was trying to avoid it as much as she could. But the way that boy was talking was like a medicine to her not-living heart. Even though it was just a child, just a voice, Seras hadn't even seen him in a face, it was the first thing that hadn't made her suffer. She could imagine, that it was him. It was Mr. Bernadotte with only a bit higher voice. And it didn't hurt her to think like that.

The nun raised her hand, her dry fingers straightened up. Air whirled between them, but only Seras was sensible enough to hear it. That was going to be a strong slap, the boy wouldn't be able to feel the cheek for a week. Her hand was already going down, the nun put all her faithful anger in it and suddenly all her angst was crashed like a wave meeting a breakwater.

„Don't -", Seras said, meeting the widened eyes of the nun. She tightened the grip on her hand to emphasise her order. Then she let it go and turned to look at the boy. He was staring at her with surprised eyes and a half-open mouth. Seras reached one gloved finger out to catch Colin's chin. He tried to escape her so she caught it with two fingers and forced him to look in her eyes. Without any other option he obeyed.

It was Seras' first chance to have a look at him. He was quite slim and about avarage height. He had a blonde short braid and a pair of green eyes that were looking defiantly at her. His look shocked Seras, but she felt like something was missing. She tilted his head to the left, so only the right eye was gazing at her.

Then it hit her.

Assurance illuminated Seras like thunder.

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><p><em>Illuminated - truth's blazing on everything around.<em>


	3. Stay

Colin felt like his left arm was about to be torn off his body. Miss Seras´firm grip wouldn´t allow him to run off, so he was forced to almost sprint through the corridors of the orphanage. Only the loud clinking of her high heels could be heard and she wasn't even looking at the young boy.

He wondered what was going to happen to him. Maybe it wouldn't be something _really_ bad for only breaking the window, but after the words he had used in Mother Superior's cabinet he was sure he was as good as dead. Some kind of childlish solidarity stirred in Colin – at least Emily and Rez wouldn't suffer.

There was something strange about Miss Seras. She was wearing a solemn face, but Colin saw something like sparkles of energy in her eyes, like they were calling out: „Come on! Play with me!". Even so, the boy was a bit scared of her. She stopped nun Ann from hitting him. Not that he didn't like it, but then miss Seras took him by the chin. The way she was looking at him, like she thought of him as something to eat. After a while, she started acting like a chunk of steel again. Without a word she took him by a hand and left the cabinet.

So Colin was almost running behind Miss Seras, and uncountable pairs of eyes were gazing through gaps of half-opened doors. Once again, he wondered what was going to be his punishment. They were already outside the orhpanage, on the way to the mysterious Hellsing Mansion; they weren't allowed to go there and it was almost impossible to see anyone who went inside. But there were maids and gardeners for sure, because children could see them from time to time, cleaning windows, or taking care of the huge garden. The orphanage was surrounded by tall railings, so no one was able come near it. Apart from one of Colin's shots. But it was...

„Stop! STOP! Please."

Hearing that plea, a bit importunate, but still a mannered request, Miss Seras obeyed and turned around to face someone. Colin froze seeing a bunch of blonde hair and a piar of rounded glasses in company of curly dark hair.

„It wasn't completely his fault," the fairy-headed girl stated. „Miss Seras, it was an accident. We were playing and when Colin shot, Rez wasn't able to catch the ball and it flew and broke one of your windows."

As she continue on talking, Miss Seras' eyes grew wider and wider. Colin was a bit worried what it might mean. _Maybe she is that angry, that her eyes a__re about to pop out_, he wondered. _It would be good if nothing happend to Rez at least._

„So I want to say sorry and hope, that we could get on better in the future." blondie ended her speech with a polite bow and so did the boy hiding behind her, only few seconds late. He had curly black hair and his facial features seemed like he wasn't from that part of Europe.

Miss Seras' eyebrow went up and after a half of a minute she spoke:

„And your names are...?"

„Emily Patterson!" Emily stated with slight pride. „And this is Rez Farkas. The boy you are holding, Miss Seras, is Colin Dufarge."

„All of you. Come with me."


	4. Mother Nature

Waiting for beta!

Look, look, what I've won in DA contest: .com/art/Please-Come-Home-272597783 It's an illustration to the next chapter (but it fits whole this serie).

_Mother Nature - we never choose the life She gaves us._

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><p>-Hey, Emily – Rez said, patting his new, white pillow. It was unusually stiff to him, he wasn't used to such a luxury in the orphanage. He was trying to make the pillow a bit more familiar, but it was useless. It was too well starched. - What's going to happen to us?<p>

Hearing no response, he raised his head up from his job and saw the girl gazing out of the window. Cascada of blonde hair was falling on her shoulders and back. When Emily turned her head, light flashed in her glasses. Rez gulped feeling her cold sight on him.

-I don't really know, but I don't think we're going to be expelled from the orphanage – Emily ansewred, snorting. - Heard what miss Seras had said.

-Yes, but...

Rez opposed, but he couldn't find right words to say. He just glanced at the room around him. He was feeling a bit odd here; everything was unfamiliar _again, _but he felt some strange smell, which made him to be at ease. Were that stone walls? Wattle carpets? Hanging chandaliers? Or was that that annoying, really good starched pillow?

Rez couldn't tell anything, apart from that he'd rather stay with Emily. He didn't want to move.

-Maybe we'll have to do something to repay for broken window – Emily popped off of the windowsill. - I don't really know what to think of miss Seras. What do you think, Colin?

The asked boy picked his head up like a person just woken up from a nap. Colin had been sitting on the bed destined to be his, since they came into the room. He seemed like thinking about something intensively.

-Huh?

-I asked what you think of it – repeated annoyed Emily.

-Mmm... - Colin murmured, unexpectantly nervous and spaced out. - Well, she's nice...

-Yeah, Colin, we all know that, at last she founded the orphanage – Emily cut sceptically.

-She's rich... - Colin continued.

-As we can see.

-And she has a nice body.

One of servants of the Hellsing manor was passing the children's room when he heard a sound of slapping. His name was Oscar and he was a butler. But, of course, he wasn't any ordinary butler, no, he was _a new generation_ one. Oscar was special, just like other servants of current Hellsing leader. He looked young, like a man in his early 30ths, tall and hefty. His face was decorated by a smart moustache and his eyes were watching the world with a bit of sly. It was said that he resembled an old Hellsing butler, Walter. But look was the only thing they had to had in common.

Oscar sniffed the air and pricked up his ears, searching for any dangers, but it seemed that the new children were only playing in the house he was in charge of. He really wondered why miss Seras had taken that noisy little humans into the house, even if they were living just on the outskirts of Hellsing's ground. The organization had enough troubles, even without children running round the manor and destroying everything on their way, the broken window was the best example.

Oscar was hoping to hear the answer soon, since miss Seras had called him. He knocked on her cabinet's door and after hearing a loud „please" he walked in. Miss Seras was gazing outside the window again; she seemed to do it often recently. She only glanced at him and then returned to her previous activity.

-Miss Seras – he bowed.

-What do you think of it, Oscar?

-Mistress, I'm truly apologetic, but I can't answer your question. I have no idea why you did bring those children here.

-You seriously don't think of one reason? - Seras finally faced her butler. He was surprised seeing a deep frown and pensive eyes.

-Well, yes, I can think of one. But I thought, that you wouldn't touch any children ever.

-OSCAR!

Seras' shout made him shiver and caused a pain in his neck. The room suddenly got darker, a few lightened lights switched off, the window got covered by something like a thin black membrane. It was a shadow, everything around was covered in shadow: glutinous, dense, diffuse. And greedy. It surrounded Oscar and pulled its hands towards him. Searching for his warmth, wanting him, desiring his blood.

When everything ended. Light came back on the right place, hands disappeared, the pane was clear. Oscar gulped, thinking of what might have happend to him if Miss Seras wasn't just Miss Seras – her anger ends as soon as it starts. But it can take really terrific forms.

-I'll show you something – Seras walked to her her desk like nothing at all had happend. She opened a drawer and took something out of it. - Why are you still standing there? Come here quickly, we don't have a whole night.

Oscar put himself together and tried to walk on his stiff legs. His heart – _human_ heart – was pounding like crazy after experiancing that amount of fear in only two or three seconds. When he leaned down to see that something. It was a photography; it looked old, just like every thing from Seras' private collection. It was showing a group of people, soldiers, as Oscar could tell, reminescenting History lessons about end of XX century. The photo was taken at night, probably on some training grounds. All people looked confident and relaxed. It seemed to be a photo of a good memorie.

-It's Wild Geese – Hellsing ruler explained. - And it's me.

She pointed exactly at the moment, when Oscar noticed her. There she was: grinning happily to the camera, standing with a gun and wearing a yellow uniform. Oscar had never seen his master with such a brave and clear look in her eyes. That's why he hadn't recognized her at first.

-And this is Captain Bernadotte. I was telling you about him.

-Yeah, Pip Bernadotte, I remember... - Oscar murmured, staring intesively at the man with amazingly long braid wreathed around his neck.

-He's French. He's impertinent. He has a braid. He has a broken nose. He's...

-Miss Seras, I'm sorry, but you could find five millions of people fitted to this description! -Oscar interupted seeing that the master was warming up in the counting. - What about the other two? Who are they?

Seras pointed at something behind Oscar. He followed her order and held his breath, seeing a really old painting hanging on the opposite wall.

-No. You're not saying it's...

-Sir Integra. Last true ruler of Hellsing and Alucard, the most powerful vampire in the world history.


	5. Sunday

**Sunday**

**"There are times when we question the things we know"**

She couldn't even say „farewell" to him.

Captain Bernadotte passed so fast. In one second he was kissing her, in another he laid cold in her arms. His lifeless body was getting cooler with each passing second, as blood, which he needed to live, as vampires need it to survive, was escaping from his veins. The warmth Seras was so attached to, disappeared; it was just a corpse.

The great man and the one she loved was dead; he died because he protected her.

Seras started calling him as her „love" after some time; she just couldn't think about their relationship as one of that kind. Love should be slow and full of gentle courtship, with lots of hugs and furtive kisses. She should have known that he was „him" from the beggining, from the first time she saw him. Whereas, at their first meeting she sent him flying through the room, on the eyes of all mercenary soldiers. Moreover, he was a pervert, singing filthy songs straight into her ear. She escaped with a scream.

That's not the way a love should be, is it?

Their love was like a wild fire; it inflamed in the most unexpected moment and place, on a battlefield. In despair and misery, covered by blood, they kissed, like a cruel world around them hadn't existed. But soon the same world separated them, crushed the lit of happiness violently and took them away from each other.

Sudden sigh of one of a children woke her up from her reminiscent. Rez crawled up into a ball on his bed and hugged the pillow, which was suppoused to lay under his head. Emily frowned and moaned; she seemed to have a bad dream. Only Colin laid perfectly still was only breathing quietly. Seras passed other beds on her tiptoes and approuched his one quietly, like a ghost.

Who was more of a ghost: she or that boy?

Seras was almost sure all the three had something in common with...them. Her past. She knew she was a relict of old, almost ancient times, just like her Master used to. But was the story repeating? Or was she only projecting the roles of Captain, Sir Integra and Master on those children? She had already heard her servants telling themselves: „Our Master had to go crazy of loneliness, she's imagining those brats are reincarnations of sir Integra and Nosferatu, the real one!"

Seras just couldn't think, that Pip, Master and his Master wasn't here. She had just missed them for so long. She wished someone was beside her, to cut out the loneliness. On the other hand, she was afraid to be involved in any relationship; another loss would make her sad again. At least, she had her „toys" - funny to sleep with, feel their warmth, have a talk. Whereas, it was boring: they were bounded with her, she was their Master, they couldn't leave her untill the very death. Their death. They were humans, after all. Oscar and other servants of Hellsing organization were Seras' „toys". But Oscar was „special"; she „made" him with a exceptional care, giving him extra abilities in order to serve her well. Also, Draculina had one habit about her „toys" - whereas other vampires would create more servants similar to Oscar, to increase their influances and power, without going out to do something by themselves – she had been always doing only one servant THAT special – and he was the one allowed to sleep with her. Just for fun. To feel sombody's warmth and not to feel lonely again.

Seras sat on the edge of Colin's bed and cared not to let the matress fall under her. She put her hand on the boy's cheek, his breath tickled her sensitive skin. Then Victoria moved her hand lower and placed it over his neck; flowing blood was pulsing under her fingers. It was so easy to kill that boy at instant. To just suck his body dry.

Seras sighed.

Before any stupid thought came to her head, she pervaded through the wall and as a mist drifted towards outskirts of the mansion. She materialized again in front of old mausoleum. It was made of white marble, in a simple style, but yet, it still had some strange charm and elegance. Seras could swear that the marble was illuminating slightly in the darkness of night.

The hinges creaked awfully, as she opened the door. The cold breeze greeted her among with three tombstones with three descriptions on it.

First from right says:

Here lie VLAD 'DRACULA' TEPES,

also known as Alucard, No-life King, Nosferatu, Vampire

Faithful Servant and good Master

Rest In Peace

The one in the middle:

Sir INTEGRAL FAIRBROOK WINGATES HELLSING

The last from Hellsing line, Granddaughter of Abraham Van Hellsing

Brave Protestant Knight and wise Master of all Monsters

Hurry and go to Heaven

And the last one:

Here lie bad-ass Soldier of Fortune,

CAPTAIN PIP BERNADOTTE

That fought with unshakable bravery to complete an impossible feat

who were deafeated by the evil Nazi regiment

And now rest here, honorably in eternal sleep

No matter how many times she was reading this, she couldn't help laughing. And then, she couldn't stop tears. These were words of Captain himself, he told this to Wild Geese soldiers to rise their morals. Stupid, crazy pervert.

She walked to Alucard's grave and waved slightly.

-Hi, Master.

She saluted to Integra's place of rest.

-Sir.

And finally greeted Captain Bernadotte. She did say nothing, just kneeled in front of it. Seras stared at these memoriable words, his words. At last, she said:

-Captain, I feel lost.

Yes. That was it. Talking about such matters to Master or Sir Integra seemed unappropriate. But talking about how you feel to someone like Captain, funny, perverted, but still a good guy, was something comforting.

-I'm lost without you.

They were lovers, after all. It's OK for lovers to talk about how they actually do, isn't it? To support...each other...and...be strong...

One bloody tear dropped from her cheek, then another. In a while, she was cying her eyes out, desperately wishing for someone to hold her, just for a minute, no, a second would be enough. In nights like these, Draculina wanted only one thing: Pip's warmth. Or someone's warmth and then she could pretend that it was Pip. He was the only one who gave her love.

There was no chance for him to embrace her, so instead she decided to embrace him. Seras sat on the grave and hugged the cold stone tightly.

There was another thing she couldn't get; she wasn't master-like type, sometimes she needed someone's advice or command. Today, in this cold and unfriendly world, she stood alone. She wasn't that awesome as Sir Integra, no matter how she tried, and not that insane as Alucard not to care about such things. Maybe it could have been easier, but something in Seras was telling her...no.

Master passed among with Integra. When Alucard returned after 30 years, he returned as only ONE being, the one that was linked to Integra and depended on her. Seras still remembered her death, which was at the same time Alucard's death. Pride and imperious, just as always, she was lying on her deathbed. Her undeniable beauty was visible, even though, she was already an old lady. Breathing heavily, she turned her head to Alucard and whispeared: „Let's meet in Hell, Alucard, and let the whole Hell sing with us". Master's look hadn't changed but there was something in his eyes, something different. He took her hand and kissed it, like a gentleman. „As you wish, my Master", he answered. „That's my final wish", and with these words Integra Hellsing made her last breath. That was also the end for vampire Alucard. He fell next to Integra, as the only life in him passed away.

And so, Seras Victoria was sitting in the mausoleum, hugging the tombstone of her last lover, alone, untill the dawn.


End file.
